Review: Lords of the Riff Tour, Thekla

Like an NME tour for those of us who prefer our music louder and heavier, the Metal Hammer/Classic Rock-sponsored Lords of the Riff package offers an opportunity to see a trio of lesser-known bands for a mere tenner. Last year, they hit the jackpot with Monster Truck and Scorpion Child. This time, it all went rather awry. Headliners Anti-Mortem came out with some fighting talk  (“We want people to think, ‘Rock has balls again.’ When you see us live, you will be crushed.”), which naturally meant we were all looking forward to being ground into the dirt by the sheer weight of their gargantuan metal testicles. Then on the eve of the tour they split up, citing those emasculating ‘personal and creative differences’.

The preposterously early start means that we miss most of Kyng, though Big Jeff is already positioned centre front, headbanging away. The LA trio seem a tad grumpy, possibly because they’re expected to do a show before their normal getting-up time. And oddly enough for what is supposed to be an opportunity to showcase their own wares, they play a cover. There’s something strange about a band who look like a dressed-down stoner crew doing Van Halen’s party metal classic Hot For Teacher, complete with Diamond Dave’s smirking double entendres. But they pull it off impressively enough.

Maryland’s Lionize were last in Bristol at the Temples festival in May, but were so low on the bill that many missed them. Chums of Clutch, they share that band’s Appalachian meth dealer chic and stir a hefty chunk of dirty funk bass, soulful vocals and shimmering Hammond-style keyboards into the hard rock mix. Chunky frontman Nate Bergman promises things are going to get weird, and they certainly do with the magnificent extended wig-out of Sea of Tranquility, which sends us off on a riff-driven dub reggae odyssey. Fabulous stuff.

Last-minute replacement headliners Planet of Zeus have the unenviable task of following that. An unknown quantity to most of us, this lot hail from Greece, which is not noted for its contribution to rock history (Aphrodite’s Child, Vangelis, Firewind, technical black metal band Rotting Christ, erm, that’s it). Whereas every musician on stage tonight sports a beard of some description, apart from Lionize’s defiantly clean-shaven keyboard player, stocky Mr. Zeus works the rarely seen sideburns and moustache combo, which is at least unlikely to catch on in Shoreditch any time soon. These veteran Athenians have apparently been going for 14 years now, peddling a tight and enjoyable, if somewhat derivative brand of groove metal with certain, ahem, cultural nuances (“This is a song about a woman who wants everything, like most women,” quips the moustachioed charmer, introducing A Girl Named Greed). Still, it’s hard not to get swept along when this super-charged Stavros swivels his hips and demands: “Let’s do the dancing thing!” Quick – hide the plates! (That’s enough lazy Greek stereotypes – Ed.)