Harriet Kemsley: ‘Trauma’s not painful if you’re laughing at it!’

A beguiling symbiosis of winning jokes, undeniable warmth, and blistering honesty has won Harriet Kemsley a deserved following on and off stage.

With fellow stand-up – and now husband – Bobby Mair, she made the reality TV series Bobby and Harriet Get Married; with best friend and comic Sunil Patel, she made the podcast Why is Harriet Crying?, broadly about the pair’s wildly different relationships to both emotion – and life.

Now on tour with her latest standup show, Honeysuckle Island, Kemsley is mining her life in a different way: as a new mother.

The show comes to Tobacco Factory Theatres on November 12. Bristol24/7 caught up with her to get an insight into the comic’s current preoccupations.

You have always shared very personal aspects of your life on stage and screen. Do you see comedy as catharsis?

“I guess I do! Trauma’s not painful if you’re laughing at it! I think the less you hide your embarrassment and shame the less you have of it.

“Although perhaps I could do with more shame at this point and I’ve tipped over and now I’m just embarrassment to those around me?”

What are the key strands running through Honeysuckle Island, and why did you want to talk about them?

“The show is about the beauty industry and having my baby. It’s impossible not to talk about having had my baby Mabel as it’s literally what is happening in my life right now; also, funny things always come out of life.

“And then I wanted to talk about the beauty industry as I think it can be really sneaky and it’s perfect to make fun of.”

How has your experience as a parent, and specifically as a mother to a daughter, impacted your perspective on beauty norms?

“It’s very difficult as I like wearing make up and nice clothes, or at least I think I do, but maybe I’ve been completely tricked. I just want her to grow up with awareness and choice; right now she doesn’t need any filler as if anything her cheeks are too perfect.”

Have you found having a child confronting in terms of reawakening your own childhood memories?

“Yes! You especially start to feel really bad for your own parents. Although my parents insist that we all slept through the night from a really young age, but I feel like not having baby monitors really helped with believing that.”

In practical terms, how have you been juggling touring, being married to another touring standup, and having a baby?

“I’m really bad at juggling. So I’m dropping all the balls constantly and scrambling round on the floor. I’m prioritising the baby and touring, and just hoping that I’ve put enough work in during the pre-baby years that my marriage won’t fall apart.”

How would you sum up the dynamic between yourself and Sunil Patel in your podcast? Will you make any more?

“I would sum it up as annoying – from both sides. We’d love to make more. Sunil still hasn’t felt an emotion so there’s so much more we have to achieve, and having a baby has really opened the floodgates on my side – who knew it was possible?

“I think the podcast needs to take a slightly different format so we’re hoping to bring back a new and improved version shortly. Watch this space.”

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Harriet Kemsley: Honeysuckle Island (age recommendation 16+) is at Tobacco Factory Theatres on November 12 at 8pm. Tickets are available at www.tobaccofactorytheatres.com.

All photos: Matt Crockett

Read more: Helen Bauer on the comedy of self-confidence and self-care

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