John Doran: I don’t think I’m a v.good writer

As part of a UK tour to promote his book, writer John Doran stops off in Bristol on May 17 for an afternoon talk at Rise record shop and an evening of spoken word and music, with local band ANTA, at the Cube. With a colourful life full of substance abuse, survival and music, John’s got a lot to talk about. He’s written about it in his new book, Jolly Lad, and is embarking on his first ever tour…

You’ve been writing for years, but this is the first time you’ve gone on tour – why now?

Brendan Behan said the critic is like a eunuch at an orgy, and I guess I just wanted to get stuck in there. Not, that I want to have sex with anyone mind, more that I want to know what it’s like for a band planning their first ever tour. How much is it possible to do it yourself. What you can do to minimise the costs. (Which are massive by the way.) Also, I’d hoped to use the time to write a second book but it turns out you have no free time and the places that you get to experience are normally Motorway Service Stations, Harvesters, Toby Carveries and Travelodges… it’s not really the most creative of environments. I think even JG Ballard would have struggled to come up with a convincing dystopian novel set in a Toby Carvery during the all you can eat £3.99 breakfast. 

You must’ve been on the road with musicians before…?

Yeah, sure but it was always with mid-table American metal bands touring the UK. Those guys have road crew to do everything for them. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it was good fun to travel on tour with Machine Head but just getting pissed the whole time and listening to Judas Priest and watching Full Metal Jacket on an air conditioned coach is not what most struggling UK bands are going to experience. 

What are you looking forward to most about your English Trip?

Seeing my son in Ipswich. I haven’t seen him for ten days and it’s too long.  

And least?

The next Toby Carvery all you can eat £3.99 breakfast. It’s just fried eggs, bacon, roast potatoes, beans and sausage. It’s terrifyingly unhealthy. At least at a Harvester you get loads of fruit and yoghurt and all of that. 

How would you sum up Jolly Lad in one sentence?

A 13-year-old tries drink and drugs for the first time and then sobers up a quarter of a century and thinks: “What the fuck was that all about?” has a kid and then writes a book about it. 

Tell us about the cover – who did it and what does it say about the book inside?

One of the best thing about going down the completely independent route is that if you go with a really cool publisher’s like Strange Attractor, like I did, you get complete artistic freedom. I was talking to Mark from Strange Attractor one day and said to him – “All of these big publishing houses keep on telling me to rewrite my book… what would you say to me if I asked you to publish it?” And he said, “I’d tell you to give me the words, give me the art and I’d ask you if you wanted to do an album as well… and that’s it.” So we shook hands there and then. And that’s how simple it was. Like Joy Division signing to Factory. Well, more like Crispy Ambulance signing to Factory in my case but you know what I mean. So I chose the art by Simon Fowler because he’d done artwork I really liked for The Bug, Earth, Wrekmeister Harmonies and SunnO))). It’s quite a traditional idea of my surroundings reflecting my interior life… so just derelict, decimated and covered in insects.  

What do you think is the best thing you’ve ever written?

Ha ha ha! I don’t think I’m a very good writer. You’d have to ask someone else. I’ve only ever written one sentence I liked and that was: “I was sweating like a glassblower’s arse crack.” And my editor made me take it out of the book because she said it wasn’t funny.  

Why do you think The Quietus survives and thrives where other publications fail?

Because everyone works for next to no money and feels that strongly about it that they don’t mind doing second jobs to allow them to do it. If people didn’t see it as something they were compelled to do, it would fall apart immediately. Also we don’t care what anyone else thinks, we seek out stuff that is uncool and unpopular and if people complain about us doing stuff then we do more of that stuff. You have to stand out from all the other publications… 

What role does social media play in your life nowadays?

It’s just this giant thing that won’t fuck off. I hate Facebook. It’s like being stuck at a drugs party at 6am. Everyone’s angrily talking shit and acting like wankers but there’s another hour or two before the sun comes up and you can leave a go home. 

How has becoming a dad changed you?

The main things are: I’ve become more patient, more tired, I’m not afraid of dying any more, I’m less self-centred and I’ve probably become sillier. You become silly to entertain them. And this is the thing they’ll hang you with when they hit  their teens. I don’t mind though. It’s great being a dad. 

You can buy a copy of Jolly Lad at: www.strangeattractor.co.uk/shoppe/jolly-lad/