The Crafty Egg, Fishponds: ‘Check you’re not dreaming’ – restaurant review

The latest addition to the breakfast scene is abuzz with families and friends on its debut Sunday morning. With an already wildly popular branch on Stokes Croft, The Crafty Egg has received a warm welcome to Fishponds following its egg-spansion.

Being here is already waking me up. Coffee perfumes the air, plants and books adorn the walls and a warm Bristolian accent guides us to our table. A pink neon sign on the back wall is perfect instagram fodder.

The menu covers all the usual breakfast bases; bagels start at £7.75, baked eggs from £8.95 and brunch dishes from £8.50 alongside the main breakfast plates. Within the (boring, in my opinion) boundaries of western breakfast, The Crafty Egg pushes at the edges of expectation with ingredients such as kimchi, za’atar and gochujang sprinkled across the menu.

As expected the coffee (an oat latte – £3.65)  is top notch, but I knew it would be because it’s supplied by Extract. A bonus that it has only traveled two miles from their St Werburghs roastery.

The coffee was top tier

In a bid to cram in five-a-day, we order the passion and berry smoothie (£4.75) which promises passion fruit, mixed berries, grapefruit, mint, basil and orange juice. This stirs me more than the coffee – the herbs are refreshing and the grapefruit balances the sweeter fruits. We also order a mango juice (£3.95) which is more like a smoothie but delicious nonetheless and not cloyingly sweet.

Brightly coloured drinks to blow the cobwebs away!

For the main (who said breakfast couldn’t be a three course meal?) I opt for the meat crafty (£10.95), which promises ‘2 bacon, 1 sausage, sauteed potatoes, mushrooms and kale, beans, tomato salsa, fried egg and toast.’ A visual feast, the kind of plate that could cure a hangover with just one look. It verges on healthy, with no less than five types of vegetable (I’m counting the beans and the potatoes, sue me) on the plate.

First impressions of the meat crafty were rather good…

Whilst this plate may just about cure your hangover it will not cure your craving for a stand-up breakfast – the mushrooms and kale are begging for seasoning and the second piece of bacon has gotten far too familiar with the grill; its blackened edges are hidden under a less-cremated partner.

A breakfast place simply has to be able to cook bacon without burning it. I’m all for crispy bacon but this crumbled before I could even pick it up!

It also turns out that chopped tomatoes directly from the tin are apparently a viable excuse for salsa – who knew? Somebody ought to do a PSA so that we could all save a lot of time chopping tomatoes and herbs and be all the more miserable for it.

The accompanying toast is also missing, which I chase up but quickly regret. A picture speaks a thousand words.

It’s the yellow that I found particularly disconcerting

Fortunately the egg is one of the elements they’ve managed to get right, otherwise we’d have to propose a name change. Crisp at the edges, runny yolk – perfect, although again light on the seasoning. And when I say light, I mean non-existent.

The eggy bread with maple (£7.95) with an additional helping of mixed berries (£2.80) fares better. I predict this will clog the timelines of influencers for months to come – a gorgeous pile of cinnamon-laced bread, tart berries and a gentle snowing of icing sugar. If you’ve got a sweet tooth this is a breakfast plate that might make you check you’re not still dreaming.

It’s an influencer’s dream

I can’t help but envy the braised mushrooms (£8.95) that totter past our table, piled with kale, kimchi and crispy shallots. If these mushrooms have been acquainted with salt and pepper then they could be onto a winner.

 

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For dessert, it would be an espresso martini (£8.75) except for the fact that 1) it isn’t yet 10.30am and 2) being freshly open they don’t have their alcohol licence yet. You’ll be pleased to hear that bloody Marys (£7.50) will be on the menu too, though whether they’ll be up to my celery-salted, port-topped, spice-infused standards remains to be seen.

I must commend the staff here, they deal with kids throwing their sippy-cups around, spilt smoothies, dogs, old dears and more with the effortless ease of a well-rehearsed improv performance. They make it look and feel so easy, it is the perfect place from which to become acquainted with a new day.

I would, and will return. Although upon leaving I spot a new branch of Fed opening across the road. The breakfast wars are on, and I am happy to be caught in the crossfire.

The Crafty Egg, 780 Fishponds Road, BS16 3TT
www.thecraftyegg.co.uk

All photos by Meg Houghton-Gilmour

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