The Real Greek – restaurant review

It’s easy to mistake The Real Greek for being authentically Elliniko. The music playing on a recent Saturday lunchtime at their new Bristol restaurant in Cabot Circus was Greek and contemporary with Michalis Hatzigianni singing Mono Sta Oneira (Only in Dreams) while we looked at a huge picture of Santorini’s whitewashed houses with deep blue roofs, pasted on one of the walls.

I’d heard the same songs in Athens. I’d swum in those very blue waters, and as the food arrived bit by bit at our table, it looked like I would be eating as I had when I was out with my parents at my old home.

Other posters on the wall are vintage advertisements from days gone by – of Karelia cigarettes that my shopkeeper granddad used to sell in his village store that served the 61 inhabitants of Chaidemeni in central Greece.

One bite into the over-organo’d and under-seasoned pitta and chips, however, and the reality came up a little short.

The wine list was full of Greek wines and the Elliniko house red I chose was pleasant, innocuous and drinkable in a light and crisp way.

When the food arrived as mezedes (like tapas) it was served like a cream tea. The dishes were stacked one on top of the other on four trays, with the tables not big enough to accommodate the Greek fashion of sharing dishes.

Food at The Real Greek is served afternoon tea-style

My husband was unable to reach the pea fava next to me although it did not look appetising enough to make him try too hard. Chilled enough to eliminate a lot of the taste, if a builder had used it to slap between some bricks to paste them together, I would not have been surprised.

The aubergine in garlic and tomato sauce was still firm and I didn’t take too many bites.

The children loved their chicken and loukaniko so that’s something. They also like Pizza Express, however, which is about as Italian as The Real Greek is Greek (the restaurant is owned by the same company who opened Franco Manca earlier this month on Clare Street).

Like at Pizza Express, the food in The Real Greek looks like it should be authentic. The names are all in the right order and proportions, but in the eating it disappoints.

My husband’s Chicken Monastiraki was chosen as an homage to the original Monastiraki in Athens, a Bohemian and lively tourist milling point but also with a good restaurant for the locals, O Thanassis, which is one of the best places you can eat authentic Greek fast food.

O Thanassis is essentially a kebab shop but there are chairs outside, there are check tablecloths and simple dishes – grilled pork, chicken or beef – and sides including chips and dips. It’s authentic, it’s cheap and it’s simple. You know what you’re getting and it’s always good.

At The Real Greek, even the choriatiki, Greek salad, was left untouched. Out of the myriad feta cheeses and olives available from Greece, the choices at our table was standardised and bland.

The experience was much like the over-warm blast of the heating right above our heads and the cold blast of the draft from the door opening to let more customers in.

It was hot and cold but it wasn’t all Greek to me.

The Real Greek, 84A Glass House, Cabot Circus, Bristol, BS1 3BX
0117 990 2170

www.therealgreek.com/bristol

Read more: Franco Manca – restaurant review