Building a support network for parents ‘even in the hardest times’

It’s Wednesday morning. The doors open to the Hub, on Gainsborough Square in Lockleaze, and a masked group of six pushchair-wielding ladies swiftly come in from the rain. Each chooses their defined space for the next 90 minutes, pre-marked out and furnished only with a single blue chair, arranged at a socially-distanced ‘plus-some’ three metres apart.

The room feels formal and rather vacant; there’s no toys out to share or activities set up for the babies, who have all been born throughout the pandemic. The windows remain open for ventilation and a clear one-way system is marked out on the floor. It feels somewhat foreign, if not edgy, to be inside another building other than home.

The sombre initial feeling of this parent peer support group, now allowed to take place within government covid-secure guidelines, quickly fades when each mum pulls out their own brightly coloured blankets, balls, soft toys and shakers. They set up their individual play space for their babies, who are, of course, already fascinated by the other faces and sounds that they have so rarely had the chance to experience in their short lives so far.

The mums remove their face masks, revealing a happy array of smiles. The room fills with chatter of the week’s ups and downs, developments and dramas, trips, falls and banana porridge mishaps. Maria Perrett, community activator for Lockleaze Neighbourhood Trust (LNT) and facilitator of the new support group, welcomes the parents from across the room, flip-chart at the ready, with the warm affection that would usually be reserved for a hug with your best friend.

“Becoming a parent for the first time can be a very emotional and somewhat daunting experience,” Maria says. “As a parent, alongside working with parents and young people for 25 years, I know how important it is to have support throughout the journey.

“In autumn last year, one mother got in touch feeling quite distressed, after a difficult birth and with no family support or bubble. She was feeling isolated and finding it increasingly difficult to access healthcare. I began hearing from other new parents in Lockleaze too and I realised that for the first time in living history, mums were giving birth and bringing up their babies without family support, and without the network, celebrations or social interactions with other children and parents too.”

Maria Perrett, who has worked with parents and young people for 25 years, is running the new covid-secure parents’ group at Lockleaze Hub. Photo by Emily Shimell

Changes in government guidance towards the end of 2020 meant that support groups, which were not allowed to take place during previous lockdowns, could continue – provided they are covid-secure.

LNT called a meeting with service providers to see what could be arranged, carried out risk assessments, and spent time understanding the guidance. Maria says: “Luckily, we have some very determined mums across Lockleaze and Cheswick Village, alongside the capable and passionate community organisation of LNT, who together recognised their need to build a support network for new parents here – even in the hardest of times – and took action to make it happen.”

Katie, who asked that Bristol24/7 only use her first name, joined the group in December:

“Before Christmas, I was finding being a mum was taking a real toll on my mental health. I was struggling quite a lot and feeling more and more isolated. But coming to this group, it provided interaction and reassurance that things are OK, and what I was going through was normal.

“It has given me a place to talk through issues I have been having at home, even being able to have a laugh about some of the anxieties which had become distorted through being so isolated as a first-time mum.”

It is widely understood that social support from family and friends has a positive effect on the ongoing mental health and wellbeing of both parents and children; alongside supporting recovery from postnatal depression, which affects up to 20 per cent of new mothers within a year of giving birth.

Katie says the parents are all part of a WhatsApp group, which has “become a lifeline”. “There may not always be a conversation going on, but it’s just reassuring to know that there are other people there in a similar situation to me that I can chat to if I need to. To be in a group of mums who all live within walking distance is providing such a vital support network that is going to help us immensely as our babies grow.”

Socially-distanced play and an active WhatsApp group have helped new parents find social support despite the restrictions of the pandemic. Photo by Emily Shimell

As the babies tuck into their own non-sharable nibbles, the mums are keen to share more of what makes the group unique. Emily, another Lockleaze mum who attends the support group, spoke of how the group has celebrated their children’s milestones together – such as crawling, speaking first words and taking first steps.

She’s also noticed that the babies have become more confident around each other, during the months the group has been running. “These exciting milestones are wonderful to share with the others in the group and it’s great fun to inspire each other to try new things, in a time where we haven’t had chance to share many of these special moments with anyone else.”

As storytime triggers the winding down of the session and a story about Elly the elephant is read out loud, the space feels comforting and content. Maria has no intent to rush anyone away, albeit ten minutes past the end of the scheduled group time.

“Peer support is the most important and valuable way to learn, reassure and support each other,” Maria says. “Parents encourage each other, and the children inspire and motivate each other too. It has been my greatest pleasure to meet with the parents every week – I very much look forward to it.

“It’s been such a pleasure to watch them grow and I can’t wait to see how they develop in the coming months and years.”

The team at the Hub have capacity to run additional groups and are encouraging other new parents across Lockleaze and Cheswick Village who wish to join a parent peer support group to get in touch. Contact maria@lockleazent.co.uk for further information. 

Main image by Emily Shimell

Read more: Becoming a parent during a pandemic