Battling the stigma of postnatal depression

Postnatal depression is a seldom talked about phenomenon, but the illness, which can affect as many as three in 10 new mothers and tear families apart, was brought into sharp relief recently in Bristol.

In December 2014, the body of new mum Charlotte Bevan and her four-day-old daughter Zaani Tiana were discovered in the Avon Gorge after going missing from St Michael’s Hospital.

Inquests into their deaths have been opened and adjourned, but at the time of the tragedy many people felt compelled to do something in their memory and as a result a charity which was on the brink of closure was flooded with donations.

Intended as a lifeline for struggling new mums, Mothers for Mothers, which has its offices in Colston Street, was set up in 1981 by women who themselves had experienced varying degrees of distress or depression following the births of their babies.

Due to recent cuts in healthcare funding, its prospects were looking dire at the end of 2014 and it had been forced to scale back many of its vital services.

While its long-term future is still uncertain, the outpouring of generosity following Charlotte and Zaani’s deaths has enabled the charity to at least continue until the end of this financial year.

“There’s a ring of silence surrounding post natal depression, as there is with many forms of mental illness, and it’s seen as taboo to admit you have it,” said Mothers for Mothers director Maria Viner, who lives in Southville.

“What Mothers for Mothers offers is a place for women to share concerns with a sympathetic ear, to talk to other women who are finding it tough or even get an Indian head massage, while a worker entertains their children in a relaxed setting.”

The charity runs a phone line manned by volunteers, group sessions in Barton Hill, Bedminster and Lawrence Weston, one-to-one counselling, and support for partners and other family members to help them understand what post natal depression is.

Surprisingly, Maria says they are seeing a rising number of middle class mums, the sort of people who outwardly appear to have it all, accessing the service.

“Some factors mean you are more likely to suffer from depression- social deprivation, abusive relationships and a history of mental illness – but increasingly and very worryingly, we are seeing more and more of these successful, affluent women coming to us for support.

“These are women who have never failed at anything in their lives and think motherhood is going to be a breeze, and actually they feel like failures in comparison to other mums who appear to be sailing through and it’s very hard to admit they are struggling.

“These are the sort of people who find it difficult to seek help but we also see an increasing number of mothers who have struggled with fertility and possibly had IVF coming to us. When they get their much longed-for baby the reality is very different and they are overwhelmed with guilt that they do not love every minute of being a mum.”

Maria knows more keenly than most just how destructive a force postnatal depression can be, having suffered it after the birth of each of her three children, one of who, William, died the day after his birth, 10 years ago.

She became aware of Mothers for Mothers when her now nine-year-old son Joel was six months old, received support after her now six-year-old daughter Trinity was born, and later felt inspired to become a volunteer herself.

“The grief that followed my first son’s death was unbearable and then when my second son was born I really struggled to feel involved in the local community.

“It had been a very complicated pregnancy, my father-in-law had died and the doctors couldn’t rule out that my baby might have the same condition as his brother. 

“When he was born and he was fine, I just couldn’t make that step into being a mother and I felt like an imposter when I tried to join in with other mums. It was so isolating and I felt so sad and also so guilty for feeling sad.”

Maria credits Mothers for Mothers with bringing her round to enjoying motherhood thanks to the fully integrated services they were once able to offer, but unfortunately when Trinity was born with a hole in her heart, Maria fell ill again.

“My father had died while I was pregnant with her so I had that awful association of death and pregnancy again and when she was born I felt like I couldn’t look at her because if I did and I felt love for her, I was terrified I would lose her. It really affected our bonding for the first year of her life. It was a very dark time.”

Maria says reduced funding means what the service that Mothers for Mothers is able to offer now falls far short of the provision she had which she feels undoubtedly saved her relationship with her daughter and helped her recover more quickly.

She had counselling, support calls, group sessions, somebody to look after her son and take him to activities when she was feeling unwell as well as specialists who visited her in hospital immediately after the birth of her daughter to plan her care. 

“I was referred to the Mother and Baby Unit and that’s not available now and even with all that help it still took me two years to recover. We still offer what support we can but it’s far less joined up and with more and more mothers suffering from post-natal illness it really worries me that we are not able to do more for them.

“I don’t think people realise quite how debilitating it can be and that it affects the whole family and the emotional, social and cognitive development of young children.

“What we need is services in every neighbourhood, including more affluent places like Redland and Clifton, because if mums have to travel across the city or take their children on public transport, that can often be too much for them to cope with and they are dissuaded from coming and accessing help.

“Instead, our charity is living hand to mouth and constantly having to compete for pots of money to keep going and it feels like we are abandoning mums who need us.”

Maria says that the boost in funding after Charlotte’s death was heartbreaking but very touching and they will plough all the money raised in her and her daughter’s memory into offering direct help to mothers rather than the charity’s administrative costs.

“People were incredibly generous, but for us to be able to continue to help mothers next year and beyond we desperately need financial support. We will work tirelessly to raise funds but our future is far from certain.”

To find out more about the services offered by Mothers for Mothers, visit www.mothersformothers.co.uk.

You can donate to the charity via www.localgiving.com/charity/mfm.