Dementia carers share their stories

Sunday, September 8 is National Dementia Carers’ Day and two local people have shared their stories of looking after loved ones.

September also marks World Alzheimer’s Month, with September 21 marked as World Alzheimer’s Day.

As reports of day centre closures across the country continue, they highlight the fundamental importance of respite care, which carers rely on simply to sort out the basics of life or carve out much-needed time do something for themselves.

 Stuart, 55, from Brentry 

I was unemployed when my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and one form of dementia. My dad and I cared for her ourselves before she went into a local home. She sadly passed away last year and I now support my 91 year old father, who also lives with dementia.

Dad worked in aerospace engineering until he was 82, helping to design the Concorde. These days, just walking is very challenging and he now needs total supervision.

Being a carer is full on, my whole life has revolved around them for the last seven years. I wasn’t expecting it to be as tough as it has been. Previously, I had my dad I could rely on to help with my mum, but now my father needs constant supervision too. With both of them to care for, it was really tough.

Stuart and his father have been supported by Milestones Trust

Dad now goes to Humphry Repton two days a week which gives me the chance to do the things I need to do: go shopping, do some painting, mow the lawn. There’s lots of housework to get done!

The staff there are fantastic and I have total peace of mind that he’s very well looked after in their capable care. The atmosphere is easy going and calm, and there’s a nice garden which Dad loves.

I also suffer from migraines from time to time – which I have no choice but to give in to, and spend up 36 hours as still as possible in a dark room. It’s no time to be looking after Dad, though on occasion I’ve had to if other family and friends couldn’t step in. So the emergency respite care at Humphry Repton House, where Dad’s been able to go and stay for 24 hours with very little notice has been a godsend.

Susan, 79, Almondsbury

I’ve been caring for my husband Mike, who’s 82 and has Alzheimer’s, for many years now.

Before he moved into residential care, I’d got to the point where I felt I couldn’t really leave him. It made shopping tricky. I felt I couldn’t keep him occupied sufficiently and felt it was the right thing to do to offer him stimulation somewhere else. And I was relying on other people quite a lot and I realised that had to change.

My husband is a very down to earth person, and that was the feeling I got when I first went to the day centre, and I immediately warmed to the manager. I’d heard it was good and it was also very reasonable in terms of cost.

I’ve never looked back. At last I was able to go shopping or go to pilates without asking someone to look after him. When you go into the day centre during the afternoon, they are all sitting together like a little happy family, and to me that was wonderful. In the morning, they do activities and they often join in with entertainment in residential care too.

Susan and her husband in the day care

Mike now lives in the residential care part of Humphry Repton House, but he goes every day to the day centre to have his lunch and spend time in a place that has clearly feels home to him – and that’s what matters.

Both Stuart and Susan’s family members regularly attend the day centre service at Milestones Trust’s Humphry Repton House in Brentry, where people living with dementia can spend time in a safe, supportive, stimulating and social environment. 

Bristol-based social care provider Milestones Trust supports people with mental health needs, learning disabilities and dementia.

If you’re interested in working in the care sector, visit www.joinmilestonestrust.org.uk

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