Mindfulness vs. YOLO

Mindfulness is a buzzword for us untrained, self-diagnosing people but for clinical psychologists it’s seen as a very beneficial technique for trying to combat anxiety, pain and even clinical depression.

But what is mindfulness? According to mindfulness expert Mark Williams, mindfulness is “about allowing ourselves to see the present moment clearly. When we do that, it can positively change the way we see ourselves and our lives.”

I have recently become more and more interested in mindfulness. Largely because the pace of life isn’t getting any slower so I thought a bit of mindfulness might do me some good.

And it has. I’m not the only one…Goldie Hawn attributes her 33 year relationship with Kurt Russell to both of them practising mindfulness.

I would, however, like to take a moment to issue a warning about mindfulness. For those of us who aren’t psychologists I think it’s very easy to confuse mindfulness with YOLO (you only live once), a trendy term often used by Gen Y to manipulate someone to go on a night out, or to sack off their job to go travelling.

Here are some real-life scenarios and some tips to help us differentiate between mindfulness and YOLO…

When stood in the queue in Zara with seven expensive items you definitely can’t afford it would be very easy to say, “Well, you can’t take your money with you. Might as well get them!” This is YOLO!

Saying, “I am grateful for what I already have,” is mindfulness.

Sitting at home watching Silent Witness with your significant other, slouched on the sofa could leave you thinking: “This is a bit boring, I could be off setting the world on fire.” This is YOLO talking – watch out! Whilst setting the world on fire sounds great, don’t underestimate how nice it is to have someone to hang out with that doesn’t mind or judge you wearing that hideous dressing gown you’ve had for eight years. In relationships, one thing mindfulness can teach is not to think too much about the future or be preoccupied with the past; something we all have a tendency to do.

In the workplace, YOLO is not going to get you a promotion or make you very popular, full stop. YOLO thinking can encourage you to quit your job and sod around the world using the money you shouldn’t have spent in Zara. Practising mindfulness at the end of a stressful day, however, can alleviate some of those worries you’ve been experiencing. Mindfulness is ultimately about reaching an inner happiness. If your job is not fulfilling, let it go but don’t do it recklessly. Do it with consideration for the consequences.

I have an alter-ego, which is all about the fun and I’m pretty sure her motto is YOLO, but she needs reigning in every now and then. That’s where mindfulness is a useful antidote.

When we are in a difficult or unfamiliar situation, we are pre-programmed to adopt one of two approaches; fight or flight. YOLO quite often teaches flight, which in some cases is necessary but what mindfulnesses can offer is the right gear to help you fight whatever it is that’s worrying you or stressing you out. 

Mindfulness is therapy we can give ourselves and you do only live once so let’s do ourselves justice.