Bristol Uni top for finding love…really?

Mairead Finlay, Politics and French student at Universtity of Bristol, casts her cynical eye on the claim that her uni is the second best in the UK for finding true love.

In an article published on Tuesday by The Independent, Bristol University came second in the country for finding your one true love. Apparently. Well, if you believe the statistics. In a study conducted by the University of Surrey, speaking with over 1,000 graduates, Bristol triumphed with 46 per cent.

As you can probably tell from my thinly veiled cynical tone, I am not a believer. As a Bristol student myself reading this article, my immediate go-to reaction was to fall into hysterics.

It’s a similar go-to reaction to the one I gave when my mum mentioned that I could indeed meet the man I may marry at University. Unfortunately or fortunately in the former case, the number one bus to Cribbs Causeway I was then travelling on at the time of reading, prevented the fits of laughter. As did the self-anticipated, crippling self-consciousness it would have undoubtedly caused. But you get the idea.

In my very official and thorough research then conducted, I went to my first port of call; my friends. Also at the Uni, I asked them about their opinions on these findings, and the three words they immediately thought of when they heard of Bristol’s new-found status. Memorable mentions included “complete, utter bullshit” and “are you joking?”.  Ah, so a resounding thumbs up from some real life Bristol students, then.

Well, why the cynicism? For guys and girls, respectively, that I asked, the answers were largely equally split – regardless of gender – into two categories. “Being in a relationship, or looking for love at University, is just not a priority for me in this point in my life,” one pal revealed and was a thought echoed by quite a few.

This rung particularly true, especially so when I considered that most people I know at University are not in a relationship, nor are they looking for one. By way of example, I live in a mixed house with eight others. How many in a relationship? One.

Meanwhile, in the latter category it was the issue of maturity in partners (or rather, the lack of) relating to, as one slightly scorned friend put it, “the struggle to behave in a relationship in a way that would actually maintain one”.  Another, a girl, felt this too, but also believed “there is a lot more pressure for girls to find someone early on”. So, who are all these people who found love at Bristol?

“My uncle met his wife at Badock halls of residence 35 years ago,” Rosie, 20, tells me. “They always love telling me about how love blossomed in the laundry room”. A sweet, slightly nauseating minority experience, we concur.

We both lived at these halls in question, and it’s probably precisely because of living in them that I have difficulty believing this study. I had a relationship in halls. It’s a completely unique, intoxicating experience. You’ll get to know each other at a dizzying pace. Unable to resist the option of taking things slow, you’ll have the endless thrill of knowing what you’re doing isn’t at all rational, but resistance is futile as he’s only a staircase away.

It’s not something I regret, but there is one thing I know, and knowing also the outcomes of the few who did it too: it’s rarely a relationship of the lasting kind. Why? Pretty much exactly because of what I’ve just described; it’s unsustainable.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not completely cynical about the whole concept, I think it’s wonderful if you do meet the love of your life at University. It’s just in my experience, it’s not the norm, and nor should it expected to be.

Hate to be ticking the cliché boxes, but being at university is an enriching experience, quite often of self-development. That should be the main focus (well, of course other than getting a degree…). It should not be about finding the love of your life, but to end as I have started, on a pessimistic note…if such a thing exists.